I have been longing for something simpler for some time now. This has led Brian and I to seek out a Realtor and we will see if we can sell the house. If we can we will be moving back to Michigan. We would be leaving the country behind to become suburban or urban growers. I have made a list of homes from what I can see on line. Our new basement would be where we grow year round, the majority of our backyard would be gardened, with a few hens. I don't think we would bring our bees with us, but we would start a new hive up there. The homes I have looked at have a much more Waldorfy feel...lots of original woodwork and coziness.
The Realtor will be coming by on Monday. On the phone she seemed confident that we can do this. I feel my heart flutter with hope that we can. There is also fear, as there are some legal issues Brian will have to resolve. Issues that will take a lawyer and money. Issues that are 16 years old, that we thought were dealt with, that have potential jail time involved. Ugh...I do not want to be afraid, but I also am trying to see this all the way through.
So lots of planning, for a maybe future. If that doesn't happen we are still plowing ahead here. Tuesday we will be butchering 15 roosters. My hens will be forever grateful! We had to pull our squash and cucumber plants because of squash bugs laying their eggs. We burned them, and hope that that is the end of that. The tomatoes are doing great, as is the asparagus. It is so hot that we water twice a day and still worry about how scorched the plants are. Record breaking temps here, and a record month of over 100 degree days. I looked up MI and it is 20 degrees cooler. I should not tease myself like that, but the heat makes me crazy lol!
I need to get ready for church. Tomorrow will be telling.

Brian is taking Trinity and Christian to the first youth bible study. They are starting with John. Christian has been reading diligently for weeks now, and is so excited to be joining the youth group.
I am trying to have the house looking gorgeous by the time Brian gets home. I feel very bad that it has suffered, even though my ridiculous standards are far above what others would call bad. We are used to an immaculate home, and to have it be at all out of order is not good for my mental health. So I am going to try to mop and beautify in 1/2 hour.And fold 2 loads of laundry, and declutter a bit more. The problem with decluttering is that I really do use most of my stuff. It all fits the guideline of being used or being valued for enhancing our area.
I want to sit down and do a good long post on where I am in life right now. I need to actually work right now. I promise to make time to update better.

I am printing off some roller coaster word searches, and a couple Angelina Ballerina coloring pages for the 6 kidlets who will be home while I am at the store today. Trinity is at Youth Camp with church. The older three boys will go to Kid Camp at the end of the month.
I damaged my hand by walking through a doorway yesterday. :/ Yes, I am that clumsy. I just banged it into the frame just right. That warranted a trip to the VA for an x-ray. I am supposed to ice it, elevate it, and not use it for 2 weeks. *sigh* I actually feel a bit guilty because I have no plans to follow that advice.
We have had soooo many donations lately, and I do not have reliable volunteers so I am trekking to work early to try to sort some of it. I can not abide the mess or disorganization that will result if I throw it all in the back room.
I am really struggling with homeschooling ideals and reality. I don't want to work anymore, I really miss being home for the kids 24 hrs a day. :( Yet I still feel led to keep going, and am going to try waking the kids up earlier in the am so we can do 2 hrs before I leave. I don't know if that is realistic or not yet, just an idea right now.

My sisters wedding was lovely. She had a great time, the guests had a great time, and everything went off without a hitch. I didn't sit down from 6:30 am until midnight...I had so much to do!!!

My handsome men had to do their James Bond Pose. The boys have never seen a James Bond movie, but they know he is a spy lol.

Trinity was a beautiful bridesmaid.

We bought a travel trailer! And we paid cash for it and got an excellent price. I can't wait to take it out, but we are enjoying it in the driveway right now.

Pippi turned two, and very heartily enjoyed her cupcake. She is talking soooo much now, and is a hoot!
Tomorrow is our Homeschool Promotion Night, and I am supposed to have made a photo slideshow. Problem one...people still have not submitted their photos to me!!! Problem two...well, it is really just problem one.
Sunday we are going back to the Renn Faire. We went last Sunday and had such a good time we felt it warrants a second trip! Going with friends this time, and I will have Riley and Naya(nephew and niece) so 9 kids for me to look after while Brian visits the mead tasting tent(his birthday gift from me lol). I'm glad I enjoyed last week, this week sounds like work. At least it will be work in a fun environment.

This is our newest pet! Biscuit the bulldog. He is 2 years old, a breeding stud that we get to keep except when his breeder takes him for a weekend. He mostly sleeps and I love him for that!



Easter Bread. It tasted like Hawaiian Sweet Bread and was gone quickly.


My beautiful family on Easter. I felt bad that Christian didn't fit into his dress shirt but the Casual Dressy look works with his hair lol!
My goodness, I am tired. I refuse to let go of my standards for my family just because I am now working outside the home 32 hrs a week.So I get up earlier and stay up later, and count my tiredness as a sacrifice of honor and love. I will make sure my kids have fresh bread, and home cooked breakfast every morning. We will still do school projects, and go to group events, and watch movies with big vats of fresh popped popcorn. (Yeah, I love food and it is part of my every activity). My world is changing, and I am humbled by what I learn. The store ...my heart hurts a bit at what I see. So many young moms needing so much. A new 16 year old with her newborn came by to get a blanket and some food. She didn't have a single blanket other than the one she got at the hospital. A 21 year old having baby number 3 who squealed at the $5 bassinet she bought, and cried at the free bins of clothing available. Little kids who happily munch on the free granola bars and pastries, licking the crumbs out of the wrappers. Car after car of people coming because their friends told them we have free diapers, makeup, food. Most of them don't say thank you...it would be hard to have always lived this way, to not even bat an eye at needing help, it is life. They tell me their stories, I try to memorize their wrinkled faces and names, or their too young faces and names. They do their part and bring in ripped Dollar General bags full of smoke ridden, unwashed and stained clothes their babies have outgrown. I love being able to smile and assure them that someone will be blessed by their giving. We are able to donate those clothes to a third world country where these poor Americans would be rich. I love being a part of a not for profit...every penny goes back to the community. Every brand name outfit I sell puts food into a child's mouth. Every well off person who donates helps, every business(even the dreaded Walmart!!!) who donates enriches lives. I cannot truly say how deeply I am touched.
I am on my first cycle since the miscarriage. I am mostly relieved, feeling like this is good for my body to cleanse. I am so hopeful to get to birth another baby into our family, but I try not to be obsessive. Epiphany turned 2 last week. My children are the brightest light to me! Trinity is growing up so quickly, and maturing beautifully. Christian still plays like a child, though he and Gavin both are starting to show signs of impending puberty. They love Pokemon cards, Yugi Oh cards, drawing ninjas, biking, telling corny knock knock jokes. Logan is slowly becoming a comedian...though he is still so shy. Griffon looks like a sleepy owl...he speaks so fast, and it is the cutest contradiction. Jubilee is a talkative princess. Pip adores everyone. We bought a travel trailer and will pick it up on Monday. I Can't Wait to Sleep in it!!! We paid cash...that was cool.
I am so rambling, but my head is so full I can't spill it all coherently. Oh, and my sisters wedding is next week! I have pics to post for next time.

Ack, it has been awhile now since I posted. I tend to pull way back and stop posting here or on any forums when I am thinking alot lol.
The thrift store/food pantry opened last week. We have handed out alot of food already, and the store is doing pretty well. The residents seem as thrilled about the fact that someone thought they were worth opening a store for as they do about the food. All clothing is $1, and it is nice! I don't put out anything stained or faded...that goes in the free bin which has been going like wildfire. Starbucks donates all their leftovers to us, so people get REALLY good snacks while they are shopping. Lol, I never even ate at starbucks!
The downside is that I see all this cool stuff going out and sometimes I buy it which does not help me declutter! I got a very fun race car bed for Griffon. It is a $250 bed, I bought it for $35. There were two of them and the lady that bought the other one is even more thrilled than I am. I have cleaned out alot of my stuff to take up there. We price everything very cheap and it moves fast. Every dollar that comes in goes to buying food. I am very happy about the whole endeavor.
I am finally starting to see my body slow down after the miscarriage. Actually...I think I ovulated again already, with no period between, so I will be testing in 2 weeks. I would say oops but then that would sound as if I am not happy at the thought. I mean oops that it happened so quickly, but I didn't plan it and couldn't have forseen it. I talked to my midwife and she is fine with it, although she did say a full cycle would be a good idea. She knows we don't prevent though.
My two irl friends who are due the week before I was are finding out the genders now.1 is having a girl and the other is going in next week. It is getting easier not to get a lump when I think of how badly I wanted to be doing all those things too. The store keeps my mind busy, I have been so blessed to open my eyes and do more for the kidlets . It is like this whole thing made me more determined to live each moment. I know that sounds morbid, but I do feel like it brought me to a fuller appreciation of how close death is to us all. I want my babies to have alot of memories of me, all laughter and smiles!

I am so tired. So done with Drs.
I called my dr yesterday. He said that this was now an emergency situation, to go to the ER and get the D and C done. To not leave without having it done. I went. The ER dr agreed that there is retained tissue. He agreed that I warrant a D&C. He called the ob and she is too busy to do it right now. Send me home and she will see me next Thursday. I should try to stay in bed and rest, and they are sorry I can't stand up without blacking out. I am beyond baffled. I didn't want a D&C at first...I wanted this to happen naturally. It started too, but I knew it wasn't right/normal. I went to the Dr, followed advice, keep getting told the same thing. But no one is helping me!!! I am not a person who does well accepting help. I do not like to be weak. I can not even function physically right now. I am not myself. And I am scheduled to "meet" with the dr 2 full weeks after this started. I am too exhausted to know what to do. I believe fully that God will cover my healing, and I am loading up on iron and protein. I had encapsulated my placenta from Epiphany's birth, and am taking one pill per day. That has definitely helped. But...I feel so let down by the drs, by the system. I thought about going to a different hospital, but I am really just too sad and blown away to play this game. Ugh...I hate to whine, and I don't really even know what to say about it all, but it just isn't right.
Brian has been so kind and helpful. He has taken off work twice for this now(and if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid). He went to the store and bought me V8 juices and two roasts lol. He pats my arm or head every time he walks by. Little things that just let me know even more than ever that he loves me.
I will be a mom to a teenager in a week. Trinity is having a sleepover next Friday and she is very excited. She invited all the girls from youth group. I believe most of them are coming! I made plans for the boys to have a sleepover at their friends house that day. Lol...Once again, I am tired, and all the details are tiring. I just need to be back to full strength, like now. ;)