My father has several brain tumors now. There is little to say...it is a bleak outlook and he is afraid and hurting. I can barely speak of it without crying and tend to come off as callous for being quiet about it. I want to be there physically for him, but there is no financial way for me to do so.
I swallowed my blackstrap molasses with less of a grimace as I thought of the fact that it helps keep a hostile environment for cancer. I am not over the top, but I do not want to go through this, nor do I want my kids to experience this.
Today was a major book score at the thrift store. I found the book http://www.maryannhoberman.com/books/sevenSillyEaters.html . It immediately warmed my heart. Seven picky eaters bring their quirks together to bond and nourish...oh my. The children loved it, and we are making the cake tomorrow! The pictures were almost better than the story.
I also got 3 Charlie Brown science books that match my dictionary set, a Justice League book, a Pokemon book, and a read aloud prospect called Franny K Stein about a mad scientist. There was a stick horse that I picked up for Jubilee's birthday but the squirmy girl found it before I could hide it and has been loving it ever since. I can not believe she will be 4 in 3 weeks.
I have made several Pioneer Woman recipes since Christmas and I Love them! They are real food, hearty food, and they are scrumptious.
Tomorrow starts our new school session. I am really looking forward to it. We took all of December to do only Bible and copywork and it was balm for the soul. Now we are ready to integrate history ,science, and math back in.
I am getting ready to go to Bible Study. There is a possibility that I will be opening a food pantry/thrift store as a second branch of one of the other women. Tonight we will share with our other ladies for prayer. I am very very excited about this.
Brian got Nanny McPhee 2 from the library and he and the wee ones will watch while I am gone. The I will watch it tomorrow with them lol. It really doesn't look as good as the 1st, but I may be surprised.

Brian and I went to a party on Saturday.By ourselves. None of our little ones. How odd. It felt like going back in time...a long time ago when it was just us. When I didn't have to be accountable for 8 coats, just one. When I got in the car and just sat down...didn't buckle car seats and ask if everyone is buckled. When I could run in with him to the gas station, holding hands, instead of sitting in the car so no one abducts my treasures. And it was refreshing, but I totally missed my children. They are such a huge part of my life...not just responsibilities but actual joys and pieces of me. They make me laugh and feel needed and I love to love them.
Trinity is having a friend over for the night. This friend has been a hard one in that she is very confident and take charge and that occasionally leads to bowling over Trinity. Which results in sulking or moodiness for days. I have tried to help Trin understand that she has a voice, but impart that balance so she doesn't become the one being overbearing. It is tricky as I am only the instructor and it would be easier to be the one executing the moves. Praying that both girls will grow in their personalities and bond their friendship. We are going to go to the Rhema Lights display, a beautiful tradition that we are all looking forward to.
Twinkie(yellow lab) has an injured leg from chasing the 4 wheeler. She is ginormous but we have to lift her up the stairs now. I improvised a sling out of a blanket and two people can assist her now. Hoping she heals Quickly. One of the guineas didn't go in the coop one night and I found him with a broken leg the next morning. He seems to be doing a bit better. Not much we can do for that, so I just make sure he has food and water and gets put away at dark. I do hope he heals, the guineas have been a fun addition for us. I do not think we are going to get more in the spring though...we are planning on alot of chickens and they are the more important role right now.
Last time I went to Whole Foods I looked for vegan marshmallows and did not find them. I found "healthy" marshmallows but they still had gelatin. Very disappointing. I came home and googled it and found out that there are Sweet and Sara brand vegan marshmallows in the refrigerated section! I can't wait to get them for Trinity. It has been 4 years since she became a vegetarian and I love the thought of giving her a cup of hot cocoa with a marshmallow swimming on top. Or not having to make 2 sweet potatoe casseroles.

I have alot to do today...so I decided to sit down at the computer to get focused lol! :P
Tomorrow is a town scavenger hunt with the homeschool group, followed by a cookie contest and exchange. So I need to make a ton of cookies. Pretty ones even. I am a wee bit competitive sometimes and want to win the contest just because I am the only one who loves to bake in the group and it would stink if I lost to someone who didn't care. Argh...that sounds petty...
I got my drivers license. It feels so good to not be afraid while driving. WHen I took the test the woman had me go into a neighborhood and parallel park. When I was done she looked me in the eye and said," You obviously know how to drive, let's head back." I was thrilled! And glad that 14 years off driving qualified me lol...I actually was nervous. I recall being told in driver's ed that older drivers have a harder time because of bad habits they have picked up...but I think driving without a license for so long prevented me from picking up alot of those habits.
Saturday I am going to provide childcare for a church outreach, then Brian and I will go to the 20's and 30's party for a bit. With all the negative stuff that has happened with one of the women at church I am really looking forward to a positive connect. Our 20's-30's group has gotten pretty close. It is really fun.
I am not pregnant this month, but am settling into a rhythmic cycle. That hasn't happened for over 5 years. Pretty interesting. I am going to try to lose 20 pounds before I get pregnant next. Though I am neither trying to conceive nor abstain. WIth regular cycles I feel as though it is probably going to happen though. Which is a joyous thought. The kids have been praying for a new baby daily and it makes me laugh, but also makes me sigh...8 seems a little big! Big is fun though.

OK, I need to write this stuff down. It makes it more concrete for me.As if internet journals count for accountability...lol, well to me they do.
I want to have a few decent pictures of me taken. My dreads are over a year now and look far different than they did. I want that shown in photos. Problem being...I am the only one who takes pictures here. So I will change that, and soon.
I am going to declutter my blog following list. I have some I do not feel uplifted after reading anymore. There are new ones I want to read. I am on it.
I have decluttered so much of the house this year. I only have 3 weeks left and I want to finish. It is time for brutal let go...some of the much played with toys are not in line with my vision for the home. They will be gone this week. I am going to do a final go through of closets. I would rather have less good stuff and right now I still have ALOT. I so wish Brian would be on board with getting rid of all the video game type things. I would keep just the Wii, but we also have a N64, 3 DSs, a DIDJ(that never gets played with...literally), and 2 gameboys. I HATE the little boxes!!
The end...for today

This was the view from the front door a week ago. I love nature!!!

Logan,Trinity,Christian, and Epiphany

Griffon, Jubilee, and Gavin.

Halfway through December...aaack! It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time flies. 2011 is fast approaching. My eldest will turn into that scary being...a teenager. I have told her many times that she is not going to be a teen but a young adult. She generally laughs and rolls her eyes at that, but so far she is not going the way I see the others her age in church and the community acting. She has occasional sullen moods, but nothing extreme. I hope she can stay out of the depression that overtook me at her age.
We have been going non stop for weeks now. I am taking today to just be still, relax, do some fun light schoolwork and smile.

The kids' pumpkins this year.


So...Epiphany's arm was broken. We got her very purple long arm cast off a week ago, and she is right back to climbing everything.
Schooling has been awesome this year so far. I have never felt as good about it as I do now that we are sticking to a schedule, and the kids are doing great. We started using the Disney Imagineering science series and it is phenomenal! We have also been focusing on geography more, which is just plain fun. Brian has been more involved in their schoolwork for the first time and it is pretty cool how good that feels.
Some tense situations at church have left me feeling unsettled, but I am okay with that. As I become stronger in the Word I can see so much more opposition from those who do not place much value there. It is odd too, because I say nothing offensive nor relevant to others, yet they take it and twist it to start "wars". Then they get upset that I won't argue with them...but there is nothing to argue! I don't know yet what I will end up doing or not doing but I trust the Lord will lead me regardless.
I have been making lots and lots of donuts lately. It is pretty neat that I can make donuts at home that are comparable to a chain treat! We have had Crispy Creamy donuts, apple cake donuts, and pumpkin spice donuts. Each is the best, for different reasons.
There is a Bald Eagle living nearby. We have seen it four times this week. Today it flew over the boys in the backyard. Glorious!

I am about to leave to go to Epiphany's orthopedic appointment. Yes, another one of my lovely children broke a bone. Pip fell off the horse tire swing and broke her radius. Hopefully we won't have to cast it, although she is such an extreme climber it may keep her safer.
So 5 negative tests later and I finally believe it. No baby in the immediate future. I am good with that, mainly because of my dream of a December baby. I really like the groove we are in right now.
I am bone tired from the heavy school schedule, and trying to prepare for fall/winter. We are doing Dave Ramsey's program and that is emotionally draining. The good news is that we should have baby step one done fairly quickly. We sold our silver at a great amount and that fills it up nicely. I gave the donkeys away to a great home, that will save a ton in feed. Little things will add up. I do like the principles he talks about, it is just such a long term process. I fully expect to have everything including the house paid for in 8 years.That will be a glorious day!
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